blog post #22 - the year i shed my skin & found my spine

well fck me, i survived another calendar year as a full-time artist & fempreneur, apparently!

& before you start picturing me glowing like some instagram oracle sipping an oat lattes in a perfectly curated studio – just, stop!

2025 wasn’t soft. it wasn’t aesthetic. it wasn’t “aligned”

it was the year of the snake

& if you know anything about snakes, you'll know they shed their skin to grow

sounds poetic right? transformational even?

bollocks!

shedding skin is itchy AF, uncomfortable & quite honestly not my best look

but here's what i learned: sometimes you need to look like sh*t on the outside while you rebuild yourself on the inside

so no, this isn't a shiny highlight reel where i pretend everything was magical & my collections sold out in seconds (eh spoiler: they absolutely did not!)

this is the real sh*t - the stuff they don't put in the pretty instagram carousels

the highs were high (like really fcking high)...

don't get me wrong, there were some proper moments this year that made me want to ugly cry & think "holy sh*t, maybe i'm actually doing this"

my work travelled to Australia - like actual kweenie’s are hanging on walls on the other side of the planet & that still blows my tiny wee scottish mind

i sold at art fairs, did group exhibitions & a solo show, got shortlisted, created commissions, was featured in The Times, The Herald & The Observer - proper publications that people read whilst looking cultured & drinking their morning coffee

my VIP kweens list grew massively with ads & a set of free affirmation cards that i created (more on those in a sec, 'cause they taught me something v important)

i did podcasts, interviews, magazine articles. told my origin story - the real one

my actual why behind kweenie. the stuff i usually keep v guarded

that part was vulnerable AF… but also kinda freeing. like finally exhaling after holding my breath for a v long time

& then, just a couple of weeks ago i did the scariest thing of all…

i put the full truth on my “about page” – wtaf!

no soft edits

no hiding

that bit nearly ended me tbh

but before that was the whiplash...

so i went on a business retreat to Wales (how grown-up does that sound?!)

& while i was there, i sold my most expensive painting on my website to another fempreneur

as us scots would say

“ah ver near shat it!”

like went into proper panic mode thinking what if she hates her when she sees her IRL

but she loved her, even loved her enough to commission more work from me – woohoo!

that high lasted about 5 minutes before reality reminded me what this journey's really like

a week later i was standing in an exhibition space in london with barely any footfall

all that effort, all that money, all that hope for…tumbleweed!

gutted doesn't even cover it

you know what, this whole journey is a brutal seesaw between

“holy fuck i’m doing it” & “WTAF am i doing?”

but here's where the year of the snake got interesting: i rang Simon Squibb's “doorbell of dreams” when i was in London – was like the BOGOF of the trip

sweatin & feeling like a total fanny talking to a ring doorbell (well, when i actually got my sh*t together to even press the fking thing)

months of silence followed

then just this week? an email landed in my inbox – no fking way!

saying nothing right now, as no idea what’s next but i’m sure i’ll tell you either way

then i failed in growing my line of merch

here’s why… the maths just didn’t math

i can't create the quality i want at a price that makes sense without either losing cash OR becoming everything i hate about fast fashion capitalism

so i chose mother earth over making a quick quid - she's too f*cking precious, kween

actually do you know what? that wasn't a failure, that was my values showing up when it would've been easier to just compromise

oh & another failure the affirmation cards that blew up my VIP kweens list?

loads signed up but probs thought i was a life coach - nope. i’m an artist. i make art that reminds you who TF you are, subtly but unmissably

the disconnect was obvious: the cards worked, but some of my kweens didn’t really get me

so i got to work figuring out how to connect the dots between what i create & who it’s actually for

also the affirmation cards weren't my only disconnect - turns out the biggest gap was between who i was showing up as vs. who i actually am

which brings me to the biggest shedding:

admitting i've been hiding...

here's the thing i went to that business retreat thinking i needed to learn how to "network properly" - you know, be more businessy, more professional, more well... not me

but what i actually learned?

most people there were just like me - winging it, hoping for the best, trying to figure out if they're doing it "right"

& the kween who bought my most expensive painting? she didn’t care about my networking

she bought it ‘cause i was unapologetically myself & my work spoke to her

which made me realise: i've been constantly afraid of what people might think of me & my work

for someone who calls herself a feminist rebel kween, that's really fcking hard to admit btw

& which is ironic AF when you're the face of your brand & you sell deeply personal art (all be it masked as “pretty” pop art) for a living

but the year of the snake doesn't let you hide halfway

so, i stopped playing small, put on my big girl granny pants & put my real story out there & guess what?

the trolls didn't come

the rejection i was terrified of? didn't happen

i stopped trying to be what i thought a "successful fempreneur" should look like & just became... me

the girl who swears too much, cries at EVERY Disney film (& yes i know Disney is patriarchy BS on steroids), gets lost down pinterest celebrity couple pix rabbit holes for hours, believes in weird sh*t like the universe working in your favour (when it’s not being a dick about it) & is building something that matters

turns out when you stop hiding, people actually SEE you

& that's when the magic happens (ooft cheesy AF but true btw)

erm but now the year of the fire horse: 2026 enters the chat...

which according to Google (v spiritual source) means:

“passion, determination, dynamic energy, significant achievements & bold steps”

the snake stripped me bare in 2025 - now the horse is bringing the fire to fill that space & i'm fcking ready (terrified, but ready - is that even a thing?)

here's what i'm galloping (ooft see what i did there the 1^st horse pun reference) towards in 2026:

4 major events or exhibitions - one each quarter, better quality, better footfall, better fcking results than London (the thought of which is sooo much panic, v little disco but i'm 100% doing it anyway)

revenue bigger than outgoings - like actual profits to build this fempire properly (personal growth in 2025, financial growth in 2026 - i'm done apologising for wanting both)

i want to sell out collections & i'm saying that out loud now without “reining” it in (ooft & the 2^nd horse pun ref is alive & well)

like my latest Instagram post says:

"this year belongs to this bitch"

& i need to believe that or it's just empty fcking words

i'm diversifying where i show up - LinkedIn, Facebook… places that aren't just Instagram - 'cause one platform isn't a strategy, it's a gamble!

& here's the thing i'm most excited about but also most terrified to share: i'm launching something i've been quietly planning – a kweenie cult delivered via snail mail, but i'm saying heehaw about it just now...

but if you want in on the goss 1st & hear what i'm cooking up then become a kween

oh, & finally the wee cockwomble inner critic that tells me i'm not good enough?

her wee voice needs to f*ck all the way off in 2026, 'cause "AF" is my new favourite unit of measurement & i'm ready to be successful AF

so, here's my question for you... what old skin are you leaving in 2025?

what version of yourself are you done with as we gallop (ooft & another horse pun ref) into 2026?

what are you finally ready to be brave about?

are you brave enough to put it in comments, kween? - i'd love to know what you're saddling up for? (ooft & there it is, the final horse pun ref, i’ll get my coat!)

love you, bye

kx

PS things the year of the snake taught me that i'm taking into my year of the fire horse:

1. the best events aren't always the biggest ones - London taught me that low footfall at a fancy venue hurts more than no event at all
2. putting your real story out there is scarier than any business risk - but it's also what makes people actually give AF
3. growth isn't just about making more money - it's about finally believing you deserve the success when it comes
4. sometimes the universe closes one door just so you're brave enough to ring a completely different f*cking doorbell

x