so… remember that big London exhibition i was all hyped about?
the one i packed my entire kweendom (& 43 pairs of knickers) into my car for?
the one where i was all me vs the M’s & ready to muzzle the bish that is my voice no.2
yep. erm about that…
plot twist:
i didn’t sell out
i didn’t even half sell out!
in fact (& this is apparently official) it was the worst sales the show has had – like ever!
which, let’s be honest, it’s kinda impressive in its own weird way
‘cause if you’re going to bomb, bomb monumentally – right?
in my head FLUX was going to be my moment
my girl maths said: kweenie + London = sales
but instead the card machine kerchinged once & i’m back home, paintings still wrapped & thinking... well, wtaf!
you would think that i felt like a royal f*cking flop - i did & voice no.2 LOVED it!
but when i zoomed out
i’d just exhibited in LONDON!
with my coupin out there. my story. my soul on a wall
& the version of me from 12 months ago would’ve rather cheese grated my own nipples than posted a selfie, never mind rock up opening night, crown & all!
now that’s growth!
quiet, gritty, but maybe not-so-Instagrammable growth
voice no. 2 just got bitch slapped!
so, you’re probs thinking that’s “nice” kweenie but it’s still a bit grim, all that work for “growth”? that’s like the sh*te motivational quotes you get on mugs ffs!
but London wasn’t grim, she was the opposite of grim
‘cause guess what i got to hug the kweens i’ve been seeing in tiny Zoom boxes for the past year
i met my new online friends from PIP (Passion Into Profit) IRL (some of them were way taller than i expected btw!)
i laughed till my face hurt
i swapped artist horror stories over drinks (that cost ridiculous prices – f*ck me London you should be wearing a mask, it’s like daylight robbery!)
i stood in front of their work & felt stupidly proud AF
& it hit me, i properly realised that the “art world” isn’t just curators, critics & collectors, it’s also the kweens who cheer you on, hold your hand, & tell you to breathe when the nerves kick in!
it felt better than red dots
(but let’s be honest though, red dots & all of that too would’ve been the ideal scenario)
& then there were the kweenie love bombs
wee drops of kweenie love i left all over London - cards with notes inside saying things like:
“you are enough”
&
“whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you’ve come!”
wee mini guerrilla packages of kweenie kindness, designed to make someone’s day – i know i come across all sweary & unapologetic, now don’t tell anyone, but i’ve got a heart
but want to know the scariest part of my trip to London?
pressing a f*cking doorbell!
wait, what! a doorbell?
yep, a doorbell, the Simon Squibb’s Elevator of Dreams doorbell at the Virgin Hotel to be exact
i wanted to pitch my dream - that every woman should feel she is enough & dares to follow her dream
but i froze
it took me over 45 minutes to press the f*cking thing
when i was in there i even posted an Insta story admitting i was sh*tting it & being a pussy
my kweens came straight back with: “pussies are tough as f*ck - get it done”
& they were right
so, i did it!
i pressed the god damn thing (in fact i pressed it twice ‘cause the light went out half way through – doh!) & pitched for my life!
it felt surreal, partly ‘cause of the déjà vu
back in the day, i ghosted Richard Branson (yes, that Virgin guy) you can get the whole story in another post, but let’s just say it was a sliding doors moment in my life
this time, i wasn’t going to make the same mistake
will anything come of it? who knows
but at least i showed the f*ck up, even if i was sh*tting it!
speaking of sh*tting it
since i came back from London (nope, not a dodgy prawn situ) i’ve been trying to start a new collection
but that blank canvas? she looks smug AF & is giving me heavy intimidation vibes, daring me for a square go
but the truth is, the work won’t make itself
& the ideas - well, they’re starting to kick the inside of my skull & that hurts!
if you’re on my VIP kween list, you’ll get sneak peeks at the new work, exclusive offers, behind-the-scenes goss, & probs mostly “WTF is she up to now?” moments
not on the list? come join - your virtual coronation is waiting…
love you, bye
kx
PS i don’t want to dish out cheesy affirmations or toxic positivity, life’s not a Pinterest board, am i right?
but i do believe this:
1. every time you show the f*ck up, you build something
2. sometimes it’s sales
3. sometimes it’s friendships
4. sometimes it’s just proof to yourself that you’re tougher than you thought
& well that’s enough x
4 comments
As always you keep it real. A real breath of fresh air to read such an honest experience. Love you turned it into such a positive experience. The universe will notice Kween. Just you wait! X
I love following your journey, your story, your following. You are so going in the right direction and no-one ever says building a business is easy! Especially in year one. Especially when you’re wearing all the hats. Your art is up there with the best and your best opportunities are still to come!
Ps – when my K-Briqs also sell in higher quantities, I’ll be buying some Kweenie to celebrate!
So nice to read,
straightforward, relatable and comical.
Totally Kweenie,
authentic and honest,
on your journey and way further than you were.
Proud yet still somehow uncertain,
in the flow and overwhelmed.
And above all, very much LOVED and a pleasure to be around.
I am so happy to have met you and your Kweenies!
x
And here was me thinking you were heartless kweenie.
The honesty in this post is great, most people would have never written about it, love you for that xxx