blog post #21 - wtf kweenie? a gift guide for 2025...

ok. full disclosure, this one’s about sales

yep. the big scary “S” word (oh & i mention the “C” word too, so if you’re easily offended then i’d stop reading now!)

i said a while back that i needed to get over myself when it comes to selling my work giving me the absolute f*king ick

so here goes

actually, first can i just say like seriously where the f*ck did this year go?

1 minute it was spring, the next i’m knee-deep in Black Friday prep for Christmas (there it is the 1^st reference to the “C” word) sales & pretending that i know how to market & sell like a total pro!

tbh when it comes to Christmas (reference no.2!) i’m a weird combo of overthinker & IDGAFer (guess that means i’m balanced though, right?)

i try to be organised, but honestly, my attention span is like a goldfish on crack

i’ll buy the wrapping paper in November, feel smug for like ten minutes, then lose it before December starts & sellotape don’t even get me started on sellotape!

ok less about my lack of life skills & back to selling my work “that’s perfect for the woman who has everything”

OMG i think i was just a wee bit sick in my own mouth just then

i mean kweenie wtaf was that? sorry kween that had as much finesse as a mosh pit!

hmmm this is hard to do but apparently that’s what you’re meant to do

make it searchable, make it “keyword-rich” & all that shizz

so, if i was going for the full on Pinterest-perfect type of sales post i’d call this

“So What Do You Get Her for Christmas? - The Ultimate Gift Guide for the Badass Feminst CEO Boss Bish in Your Life Who Has Everything” 

but cue my eye roll so hard it could power the national grid

trying to hit on the right vibe is v tricky

but here’s the thing: i am a brand & a business. this isn’t some wee project i do between Netflix episodes (have you seen the Victoria Beckham docu btw? – kween, just saying!)

anyway if i don’t talk about my work & actually sell it, then yep - it’s just a REALLY f*cking expensive hobby!

right f*ck it, i’m going all in, here’s my pitch:

So WTF Do You Get Her for Christmas?

The Ultimate Gift Guide for the Badass Feminist CEO Boss Bish in Your Life Who Has Everything” 

i'm pretty sure she does NOT want another beige candle or bath bomb that smells like mediocrity

& if you even consider a “live, laugh, love” sign then she might just take out a hit on you!

but luckily for you this is where i come in

cause i make art & statement merch for kweens (aka Badass Feminist CEO Boss Bish in Your Life) who have stories, scars, & a bit of side-eye for anyone who dares to tell them to tone it down

& i’ve got options for you:

for a kween who’s walls are looking a wee bit too well-behaved, one of my kweenie pop art originals will fix that. they’re bold, layered, & full of the kind of energy that doesn’t apologise for existing

"you think?"
painted pop art collage featuring Rita Hayworth

or why not gift your kween a range of museum quality archival sustainable paper pop art prints so she can create the perfect statement gallery wall, that will wow her next dinner guests but do no harm to mother earth (no mass produced Temu shite here) 

"genius"
fine art pop art print featuring Marilyn Monroe

maybe she’s the kind of kween who’s always got ten ideas, three to-do lists & a quote she lives by, then one of my feminist AF hardback journals might just be her thing. they’re fierce wee books built for plotting world domination, venting, or journaling your way through a meltdown

 

kweenie hardback luxury journals

& look if you really can’t decide, then my kweenie Gift Card is your best friend

it covers everything - prints, originals, merch, whatever she’s into & it saves you from buying yet another “inspirational mug” to be chucked at the back of the cupboard with all the others!

& to make it even more super simple for you, you can check out a wee gift card value round up right here

all of this is available online at kweeniestudio

but guess what you’ve also got 2 chances to buy a wee bit of kweenie in real life

cause i’m saying f*ck black friday & hello colour saturday

on Saturday 29th November, from 12–4pm, i’m throwing the doors of kweenie hq wide open for my first ever open studio day

come hang out in my colourful wee kweendom

see my kweenie’s IRL, touch them (gently though, cause they might bite), chat, giggle, spill the tea (not on my kweenies obvs) & let’s be honest, probably do a spot of day drinking

i’ll have wee refreshments ready ‘cause hydration is key… in all its forms!

& everyone who pops in gets a wee kweenie gift (‘cause well, i loves ya), plus you’ll have the chance to win your very own kweenie

fancy it? then ping me a message here

& for your 2nd chance to snap up some kweenie IRL then head to the

"Small Works Exhibition" at the Garfield Mill Gallery, Hawick

from Thursday 20 November to Saturday 6 December 2025

where you can find my wee OG's from my "obscurity" & "fancy dying" collections, they're wee but oh so feisty!

obscurity IV, V & VI
now exclusively showing at Garfield Mill Gallery Hawick

so there you have it, that’s my sales pitch!

have i made you want to run out & buy a kweenie? – rhetorical question obvs, well unless you’d like to voice it in the comments kween?

the way i see it, since the world’s gearing up for the great Christmas (3^rd & final reference to the “C” word promise) panic, let’s be real: if you’re going to buy something anyway, maybe buy it from someone who actually gives AF?

so yeah, this is technically a sales post

but it’s also me saying: buying from a small business is a wee act of rebellion

sticking your middle finger well & truly up to the soulless, capitalist machine of mass-produced shite

& instead saying YES to something made with love & to someone who paints into the wee small hours

pays her share of the taxes (& yep that is an open dig at the Starbucks' & Apple’s of the world)

& gives back to her community more than Amazon Prime ever will!

kweenies are for life, not just for Christmas, they are the gift that keeps on giving (mostly attitude, but still!), they are… hmm ok i’ve run out of well-known sayings but you get the picture right?

& honestly?

this wasn’t so bad to write

turns out the sales ick only screams if i let it

love you, bye

kx

ps what i’ve learned since putting fingers to keyboard on this one:

1. i can be honest & still pitch my work (shocking, i know)
2. my “keyword rich” SEO skills need some work
3. turns out i CAN’T count i made 4 refs to the “C” word – eek!
4. apparently, i CAN do a sales post without literally combusting

x