post #16 - woo woo meets wtf (oh, & i lost my sh*t in yoga!)

i never thought i’d be that person. you know, the one journaling under a moon lamp, whispering intentions to a cup of herbal tea, & casually dropping

“i manifested it”

into a sentence, like i didn’t used to eye-roll myself into next week at that kinda chat 

but here we are. i’ve succumbed to the woo woo! 

& let me tell you, it’s weird terrain for a logic-loving kween like me

high on paint fumes & feelings

you’d think being an artist, i’d have always been off floating in the creative ether, high on paint fumes & feelings. but nope

i’ve always been a wee bit more spreadsheet than spirit guide – the kind of gal who wanted proof, not a pull from the universe

it all started innocently enough, with me, an audiobook, & a mild suspicion that people who manifest were probably just bored rich women, with vision boards & a sh*t load of time on their hands 

but plot twist: i became one – no, not bored & rich! the other thing a “manifestor” 

first i listened to 'big magic' & then 'the artist’s way' (bit jesus-y for me, kinda like holy spirit-meets-creative-unblock – i skipped over the preachy bits & kept the rest though) 

then came the logic i was craving – the sciencey side of mindset & manifestation

podcasts with Mel Robbins interviewing actual neuroscientists like Dr. Tara Swart Bieber & Dr. Jim Doty 

brain plasticity? 

yes please 

that lit my inner nerd right up!

your brain believes you

Dr. Doty – neurosurgeon, author & full on brain whisperer – said something that stuck with me (like you know when your hair sticks to your lip gloss kinda sticky) your brain literally reshapes based on what you focus on! 

so, if you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough or that your dreams are too big, guess what?

your brain believes you – true story

but when you flip the script & start saying “i can do this, i am doing this...”  

“this isn’t just art... it’s permission to take up space” 

“i deserve to get paid” 

your brain goes, “oh right, got it kween. on it.” 

apparently, writing down your intentions, speaking them out loud (yes, like a manifesting weirdo), & visualising them helps your brain's default mode network do the heavy lifting behind the scenes 

basically, manifestation is science wrapped in woo woo wrapping paper 

& somewhere along the way… i slipped

slipped into visualising, vision boarding, journaling, & accidentally crying in frog pose at a Les Mills Body Balance class, 'cause a song called ‘honey child’ came on & my dad spoke to me! 

which, for context, is what my dad used to call me. & nope he doesn't do Body Balance 'cause well, he’s dead!

so hearing his voice mid-stretch, in a dimly lit gym studio, felt less like coincidence & more like a cosmic mic drop 

he was in the room, i swear! 

weird, right? 

it got weirder 

i went to a spiritualist night to support a local charity (as you do), & who pops through? both my parents. SPEAKING. TO. ME! 

now i was raised on sarcasm, not seances, so i didn’t exactly expect to be out there receiving messages from the beyond

but here’s the thing: i’ve stopped needing it to make sense. sometimes it just is!

casually manifesting world domination

i've since gone on to casually manifesting world domination, lemme explain