art that reminds you who TF you are...
i got a message recently that stopped me dead in my tracks
& when i say stopped me, i mean like full on, speechless, heart jumpin, felt a wee bit faint, needed to sit down kinda stopped (Mac thought i was having a heart attack – but didn’t rush to dial 999, hmm hello that’s cause he’s a dog kweenie!)
now before you say it
"kweenie FFS, you dramatic wee bish"
aye, that’s fair, guilty as charged (i’ve been known to cry at every Disney film ever made) but this one got me right in the chest & i really feel the need to tell you about it
so grab a wee cuppa, get comfy & hear me out (will only be like 6mins i promise)
so a woman, let's call her T, had a rare day to herself & i mean properly to herself
no kids, no responsibilities, nowhere to be, nobody needing anything from her
so, what did she do with this glorious wee window of freedom?
she went solo
gallery, coffee & scone, cinema the works
an entire beautiful day, just her
& honestly? good on her. we don't do that enough. we really f*cking don't!
anyways, somewhere in the middle of this solo day she walked into a gallery, turned a corner & just... stopped
one of my paintings was looking back at her
"in the pink"
painted pop art portrait featuring Dorothy Dandridge
now here's the bit that got me…
she hadn't read the blurb, hadn't googled it, hadn't asked a single soul what it meant
T was 13 months out of a breakup, still in that messy, raw, in-between place of trying to find her feet again, trying to remember who she actually was before it all went to shit
& she stood there & just knew, she felt it
Dorothy Dandridge's smile doing what Dorothy Dandridge's smile has always done
saying absolutely nothing & everything all at once
(translation: i don't need a single f*cking soul to validate how powerful i am, thank you very much)
T stuck a red dot on it
took an actual VIDEO of herself doing it too – yaaaaassss kween!
& walked out of that gallery feeling, her words, not mine,
"utterly empowered, boosted & a little emotional"
i mean, f*ck yes awoman to that
here's the thing though
& this is the bit i wasn't expecting when i sat down to read her message
"in the pink" is MY breakup painting too
but for me not a relationship, mine was a career
a beloved, all-consuming, this-is-my-entire-identity career that ended & took a big messy f*ck off chunk of me with it on the way out the f*cking door
wtaf? something i never saw coming!
i made her ‘cause i needed her
she's Dorothy at full f*cking throttle. no shades, no hiding, face on, comeback mode is a “GO”
the moment after the hideous bit
when you stop white-knuckling your way through surviving & start actually f*cking living again, know what i mean?
she’s part III of my "something on my mind" collection & honestly one of the most personal things i've ever created
& here's the thing that absolutely floored me
T didn't know any of that
walked in cold, no context, no backstory, no blurb
& felt it anyway
that's the bit i couldn’t get over
& yep i cried (got totes emosh as they say) that's the bit that had me crying into Mac's fur whilst he looked deeply unimpressed & slightly concerned for my mental state
(come to think of it that’s his resting bitch face tbh & his concern for my metal state happens on the daily)
but because THAT, right there, is what the right piece of art does
it doesn't need an explanation
it just… sees you!
& THEN, you’ll never guess
(this is where i fully lost my sh*t)
T told me what she's going to do with her “in the pink”
she's going to print out the blurb, date it & tuck it behind the painting
so that one day, when her daughter is old enough, she can hand it to her & say:
“mum bought this when she was feeling good. reclaimed. on the up. feeling more like herself”
OMG i just, i can't, i’m actually away again just typing this, where’s Mac when i need him?
so here's what i want to ask you
what's on your walls right now?
like actually, have a wee think
is it something that means something? something that looks back at you & sees YOU?
or is it just... there
filling a gap or covering up a dirty mark on the wall
something you stopped seeing about 3 weeks after you hung it?
‘cause there's a version of your space that works FOR you
not just something to stick above the sofa so the wall isn't bare (although "in the pnk" would totally class up any sofa, just saying!)
i mean something that catches you on the morning you've woken up & forgotten who TF you are?
something in your eyeline at your desk right before you make the scary call you've been bricking it to make for days
something in your hallway, last thing you see when you leave, first thing you see when you crawl back through the door after a day that tried its absolute f*cking best to kick the sh*t out of you (& more)
something that just goes
“oh hey, remember her?
yep, HER
don't forget about her today, she’s in there”
T didn't buy a picture to fill a gap
she bought a timestamp
proof to herself (& 1 day to her daughter) that she came back
she came back to herself & she's got the red dot video to prove it too
& if that's not the whole point of what i do
then honestly, what the f*ck is?
& 'cause i want to spread kweenie vibes far & wide & have every woman feel like T did & does, i'm gifting a print to any kween who would like one
ready to remember who TF you are on the daily?
then go on, claim your kweenie gift here
love you, bye
kx
ps things i've learned from T's message & a full menty B when reading it:
- the right art finds you. you don't always find it
- Dorothy Dandridge has been reminding women of their power since the 1950s & she is absolutely not done
- my art isn't decoration. it's a daily conversation with yourself
- sometimes a total stranger walks into a gallery, sticks a red dot on your painting & reminds YOU why you do this whole mad, beautiful, chaotic thing in the first place
PPS erm also, Mac is NOT a therapy dog. he has made this crystal fcking clear
thanks T... you've no idea kween 💗
x
