post #4 - how far would you go on a first date?...

post #4 - how far would you go on a first date?...

well i guess nowadays that depends on how you met? tinder swipe then maybe it’s expected to be all the way, but what if it’s a chance meet with a total stranger, or you were introduced by a mutual friend? 1st base, 2nd? 

now you might be thinking wtaf kweenie i thought you were a pop artist not a serial dater? & you would be right i am an unapologetic pop artist who creates pieces that mix vintage glamour with urban cool, but this is how i view my relationship with social media 

"the colour of my knickers"

i am a fiercely private person struggling with the demands of what Simon Sinek call’s today’s online currency of “vulnerability & authenticity” in social media, seeing every potential follower as a first date! & i'm really not ready to flash them the colour of my knickers! 

research professor Brene Brown reckons: "Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive." 

well, that’s me fucked then!  

as someone who has actively avoided social media all their life, to start using it & potentially build a business based on the possibility of its marketing power for self-promotion, is just plain fuckin’ mad – right? 

well, that’s what i've been doing, but why? now that’s a good question & the answer is well i don’t know really, apart from well that’s what everyone else is doing.

wait, am i a sheep?

aww fuck i think i am

& now i find myself doomscrolling with all the others in the Matrix (instagram), how did this happen?

"navigate a maze blindfolded while juggling flaming torches"

truth bomb alert: social media is literally a double-edged sword for us artists. on one hand, it's a (FREE) powerful tool for building brand awareness & showcasing our work to a global audience of approx 3.8 billion, but on the other hand, it's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded while juggling flaming torches, pfft easy – NOT!

oh & by the way that maze randomly changes too, just for like the fun of it, shades of Katniss Everdeen, i hear you! 

the maze aka the dreaded algorithm (the bane of every artist's existence) is the gatekeeper of the mystical digital realm! understanding it is like trying to crack the Da Vinci fuckin’ Code, except instead of a hidden treasure, you're searching for the elusive & all-important:

reach - basically flashing your knickers to the most amount of viewers possible

& engagement:

shares - hoping viewers will tell their friends about your knickers

likes - looking for a heart to prove they are into your knickers

comments - hoping people like your knickers enough to say so

there are constant cries of “hack the algorithm”, “how i grew my following to 500k in 5 days”, “stop doing this if you want to go viral...” but do i want this? do i want half a million people watching my every move waiting for a flash of my knickers? hmmmm & viral is that not an infection? 

"not a prancing horse in sight"

i've had to get to grips with posts, stories, reels, threads, statics, carousels (not a prancing horse in sight btw), pins, drafts, schedulers, tweets – sorry X’s (see it is like dating!) 

learning to create posts & reels with stickers, text, filters, effects, transitions, trims, crops, varying speeds, splits, & sections & don’t forget that to stop the doomscroll you have to be consistently, vulnerable but yet relatable, use hooks that work within a nano second, have trending audio, answer the needs of your viewers, add value to the lives of your viewers & all of that has to be done & dusted in just 5-7 seconds (wow getting even more like a tinder date by the second), post 4 times per day, daily, how do you even have anything remotely interesting to say by post 20 on day 5?

"WTF do you mean breathe?"

it's like being at an exercise class when the instructor says (& with a smile on their face) “stand up tall, suck in your core, brace your abs, squeeze your glutes, right foot forward, raise your left heel, guard up, relax your shoulders & breathe – are you like kidding me, breathe WTF do you mean breathe? i can’t do all of that & breathe FFS! 

ok calm down kweenie keep yer crown on, stop with the overwhelm, you’re seeing the negativity not the possibilities or positivity social media can bring. let's get your shit together, get things in perspective & tackle things one at a time 

so that’s what i've been doing: 

i started with instagram with 1 follower (my husband & i made him do it) & i now have a whopping 160 followers (which i know is teeny tiny) but none of whom i had to coerce, which for me is amazing & they are engaged, which is social media gold right now but equally good for me that i'm not just talking to my multiple personalities 

"i sweat a wee bit less"

i used social media to “big up” the launch of my website on Galentine’s day & woke the day after to my launch reel hitting over 1k views & i've recently been told my brand voice is consistent too – woohoo result! 

i’ve religiously posted on instagram 3 times plus per week since the 25th of January & created a strategy for it (the words kweenie & strategy never said in a sentence before - like EVER!)  

i sweat a wee bit less each time i hit share. i once shared the wrong thing & had a meltdown, how do i get it back – fuck? i need’t have bothered nobody saw it anyway! brightside, all this frettin’ & literal sweatin’ could be a way to stay slim – who knows? 

truth is as an artist i'm actually enjoying the act of creating the content & i'm slowly kinda getting used to sharing my work, well a wee bit anyway, at least when i remember to hit the right button – now that’s another post for another day!

"TF for concealer & the wonders of makeup!"

listen i'm not going to lie, it has been a humungous undertaking, i’ve definitely aged visibly in the process, TF for concealer & the wonders of makeup! funny thing is too my instagram feed is full of videos for facial yoga, must have liked or viewed something a little too long, in my utter dismay at my sagging jowls & bulging eyes, at this rate i'm never making it to 1st base, never mind a home run! but in the midst of all of this i have also found a cheerleader who calls me a “fuckin legend” every morning when i wake, no not a tinder date but a faceless quote account & do you know what, i believe her – every word!  

so, what about you, what base are you at, or have you found your very own cheerleader? i'd love to know, please share in the comments

love you, bye 


PS things i've learned since selling my soul to Beelzebub the algorithm:

  1. be sure to plan what you are doing with your business well in advance to plug the absolute dung out of it on instagram, you might think you’re a broken record but only something like 2% of your followers actually see your posts & reels thanks to wonderment that is the algorithm 
  2. having a social media presence is good for social proof that you are real & do exist as a brand 
  3. do your own thing don’t follow the crowd, be unapologetically you 
  4. the level of vulnerability is my choice & being authentic doesn’t have to mean sharing it ALL, so i think the colour of my knickers is something i can keep to myself for now – no flashing necessary, well not just yet anyway! 


Back to blog


Only went all the way once on a first date. It was a pure sexathon that required energy drinks and deep heat (for the leg cramps). There are certain moments in life and love that really bolster your appreciation of superfoods. Needless to say, I married that girl!

Surfer Rosa

these chronicles are simply iconic! I’ll never review my Insights without trying to remember what colour my pants are ever again… x

Chris Moss

Well, in amongst all the facial yoga videos (not just me then) you got my attention.
Loving the Chronicles of Kweenie!


Love you are so unapologetic honest… makes me laugh and relate! X

Sandra Ord

slayed today, love it


Leave a comment

become a kween today & score exclusive deals

stay in the loop, subscribe & bag 15% off your very 1st pop art mashup!